The Better Gift again

So Silas a friend of mine had some concerns about the singleness post so here is my response...

Hey Silas valid concerns but let me address a couple things that I hope will clarify. First I would like to address the comment that “singleness is NOT your gift (of which I am fairly sure from the lofty height of 20 years), is it then incumbent upon you to STOP striving for singleness?” My thought is that singleness is your gift until you are married or at least until you are engaged. It’s the idea that both singleness and marriage are gifts and until singleness is taken away, it is your gift. Just like living on this earth, we often say that every breath is a gift that flows from God’s grace, but soon that will be taken away for a better gift, the gift of eternal communion with our creator. The gift of singleness just works in reverse; we have it until it is taken away, but even in that situation singleness will be given back to us all in heaven so we can be “the bride of Christ.” I think this is the reason Paul sees it as better here on earth, those who are married are troubled with the concerns of this world, those who are single are concerned with the things of the Gospel.

The second thing is how we define contentment will greatly effect how we see these gifts. I think the status quo in young Christian culture especially among men is to say I’m content with our singleness but what we really mean is we struggle through until something better comes along I find this is no good, even to say its O.K. for now really doesn’t do our singleness justice. If we ask a married person how is your marriage? And they say “I’m content.” Using the definition which many single people use for “content” this would be totally unacceptable. No married couple would want to say they are struggling through until something better comes along or it’s O.K. for now. That is part of the reason I didn’t use the word “content” when I was talking about singleness a couple weeks ago, especially if so many people would associate it with the feelings expressed above. So I would say, “We should strive to be totally satisfied or content with our singleness just as we would strive to be totally satisfied or content with our marriage” Meaning God has given me the gift of singleness right now so that is what God deems is that best thing for me right now, and we need to be satisfied in God and his will for us.

I think the idea of “striving to be satisfied in singleness and marriage” is a cool idea. Knowing that we should never be totally satisfied in a situation here on earth. It is a process that we will never see completed while we still live. In fact the second we are satisfied with our marriage and state of our singleness is the moment you quit working at it, and that is the moment it starts to fall apart.

You also said “In order to EVER get married, we (men) have to, at some point, quit being content for long enough to go after a woman with determination, and take the risk of... well, I'm sure you know what risks relationships entail. The point is, too much contentment is complacency, which isn't just unwise, it's sinful too. It's a fine line we have to walk.” I agree and disagree, if we use the first definition of content, please quit being content, do it now. But I don't think we should eve quite being content (in the good way) with the situation God has put you in. Hopefully your desire will come from a desire for a person or a desire for a more complete ministry.

Anyway I'm not sure if that helps but if you want to talk more about this let us and anyone else who wants to contribute please do.

Godspeed,
Caleb M. Saarela

I wish I could get my head out of the sand
Cos I think we'd make a good team
And you would keep my fingernails clean
But that's just a stupid dream that I won't realize
Cos I can't even look in your eyes without shaking, and I ain't faking
I'll bring home the turkey if you bring home the bacon
R. Cuomo