The Better Gift
Well I wanted to start this with some cool poem but they were all to depressing and this is supposed to be a hopeful and uplifting entry. So maybe next time when I'm more depressed here's hoping, or wait crap...
A couple weeks ago I went up to the North Shore with some friends. The trip was awesome. We hiked all day Saturday and despite some nasty blisters it was worth every step. Anyway on the way up we were having some of the usual traveling conversations weather, how's life, are we there yet, I need to use the bathroom, why don't doughnuts have nuts in them (maybe they do and I have never noticed), singleness, and dating (you know the usual). Although I didn't say much the conversation weighed heavily on my heart.
The day before I had discovered that yet another of my ex-girlfriends was getting married (I knew she was getting married just not so soon). Now this has happened before but this was a girl I was pretty seriously involved with so of course the common fears, doubts, discouragements, and general self-pity kicked in. Why can't I meet the right girl? Is there something wrong with me? I must not be attractive (yes guys say things like that just not to other people or while reading magazines about celebrities), or worse it's my personality (Lord knows it's not helping my cause). Do I smell? Why not me? You know the usual complaints the enemy throws at you.
So back to the trip up to the North Shore one of the young men joining us on the trip was a guy named Joe Berg. I don't see Joe a ton but last year I would see him almost every week and I have always found him to very insightful and well thought out. So the conversation continues singleness, marriage, commands of God and the other usual topics. So to try and keep this short I will get to the good part, Joe brought up the idea of "the better gift." It is the idea that marriage and singleness are both gifts and singleness is the better one.
Now before the uproar and the yelling and the lynching and all that. The idea comes from 1 Corinthians 7:25-40. Where Paul is talking about marriage. First off I understand that this is only Paul's opinion "25...I have no command from the Lord, but I give my judgment as one who by the Lord's mercy is trustworthy." So this is Paul's opinion, but again I see Paul as trustworthy. So I'm not sure if this idea is totally theologically infallible (I do see it as pretty sound but I will not go into that right now), BUT it was exactly what I needed to hear and still is a trustworthy and edifying idea. I don't think that Paul means it as a slam on those who marry as much as an encouragement to those who don't.
As I'm sure many of you long standing single's know there are times where it is just no fun being single. Every party with friends your the 3rd-5th-7th-9th-11th wheel. Friday nights with no plans while crappy sitcoms tell you that with out a "special person in your life" you are missing out. But that is exactly how Satan wants us to see it and I'm not going to do that anymore. My singleness is a gift from God and I'm going to run after that gift until he brings another gift into my life. I guess in the end that's my point. And I think it is good for us single's to hear. "Your singleness is a gift." I could go on but I'll spare you and would love to hear back from you.
Godspeed,
Caleb M. Saarela
"Feel the power of thePHANTOM MULLET,
Tremble and cower from the PHANTOM MULLET,
White metal burn of the PHANTOM MULLET,
Cut straight or permed it's the PHANTOM MULLET,
And you, cutting it short on top,
I want that for me.
Growing it long in the back,
So savage and so free."
R. Roper
Image courtesy of Faith Buck at "The Drawing Room"
http://www.thedrawingroom.biz/index.htm
Drawing intitled Dead
Labels: Serious Stuff, Spirituality
posted by Caleb M. Saarela at 4:45 AM
4 Comments:
Holy piss! I have had Foo Fighters stuck in my head for 3 days!
It happens man they are like a maggot they go deep and you find yourself singing everlong everywhere...
great entry. singleness is a gift, a wonderful amazing gift. just to encourage you, i've only known you a few weeks, but i think that you are a great guy with a great personality. not in the "yeah...he has a great personality, though" kind of way, but the good way. anyway, hang in there. if God has marriage in His plans for you, He has the girl picked out and the time for it all to happen. the key is to stay focused on Him and He will unfold it as He so wills. there are so many things that God has to teach us in singleness that will be a tremendous blessing to our future spouses. in all seasons in life, there is a purpose. i pray that all of us singles out there will use the time to glorify God and bring praise to His Name!! P.S. mullets-business in front, party in the back
I have (I hope) an interesting question in the context of singleness. If you arrive at a conviction that singleness is NOT your gift (of which I am fairly sure from the lofty height of 20 years), is it then incumbent upon you to STOP striving for singleness? This is important because I'm a man, and therefore at some point have to be the initiator in a relationship. When does it become ok to stop viewing singleness as a goal? I understand that contentment is something we should all strive and pray for, and that whatever circumstances God chooses to provide must be sufficient for us. But that doesn't mean we always have to be zealous defenders of the status quo.
In order to EVER get married, we have to, at some point, quit being content for long enough to go after a woman with determination, and take the risk of... well, I'm sure you know what risks relationships entail. The point is, too much contentment is complacency, which isn't just unwise, it's sinful too. It's a fine line we have to walk. Sometimes I think women have it easier, since they're able, socially and spiritually, just to focus on contentment and patience. A man has to decide at some point when to wad up contentment and patience and throw them out.
I'd be interested in your thoughts on this, but I know this is kind of an old post (sorry, I'm catching up) and if your mind has moved on to other things, that's fine. You can email me, though, or we could do lunch and discuss it.
Silas
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